Perhaps it is time to remove the words ‘Horn Please’ or ‘Blow Horn’ from the back of trucks, Vikrams, and commercial vehicles. What may once have been a practical instruction now appears to function as a psychological trigger on Delhi roads.The typical Delhi driver approaches the horn with the enthusiasm of a pianist discovering a new keyboard. So, the average Delhi motorist does not need encouragement to honk, but something opposite.

There are, broadly speaking, three kinds of drivers in the capital. The first drives a vehicle with no brakes, putting any bullet train to shame. The second drives a vehicle with no accelerator, making a buffalo cart look positively dynamic! The third, and by far the most fascinating species, drives a vehicle powered almost entirely by the horn. Petrol, diesel and CNG are useful, certainly, but secondary. The horn is the principal fuel source.

The remarkable thing is that honking in Delhi has long ceased to be a warning device. It has become a language, a coping mechanism, and perhaps even a form of therapy. One honk says, ‘Move.’ Two honks say, ‘Move faster.’ A sustained blast says, ‘I am deeply dissatisfied with the state of the nation’! The horn has become the preferred medium through which citizens express their views on traffic congestion, potholes, road construction, governance, weather conditions, and occasionally the meaninglessness of existence while caught in traffic jams.

Tourists are often bewildered upon being greeted by what appears to be a city-wide percussion orchestra. Their confusion deepens when they encounter signs outside schools and hospitals declaring ‘No Honking’. To the average Delhi driver, this sign seems to be interpreted not as a prohibition but as a polite suggestion, much like a New Year’s resolution.

This has led me to a policy proposal.

Motor manufacturers should begin installing horns with an expiry limit. Every vehicle may be entitled to one thousand complimentary honks. Thereafter, the horn ceases to function until it is recharged. The first recharge may be reasonably priced. Every subsequent recharge should attract a premium. A portion of the proceeds could be dedicated to combating noise pollution in the capital. After all, governments frequently use taxation and regulation to shape public behaviour. We tax tobacco. We discourage plastic. We regulate emissions. Why not regulate recreational honking?

And if a small surcharge persuades even a fraction of Delhi’s motorists to discover the existence of patience, and silence, the city might finally hear something it has not heard in years.
Peace and quiet on roads.

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