Nixon created ‘Expletives Deleted’. Trump patented ‘Expletives Repeated’. But we Bharatiyas are shudh shakahari in bhasha. Our men are entitled to leeway, but our girls have to be sattvik, never slutvik. However, being more evolved than the decadent, short-haired West, we forgive the misled, especially the missled. As borne out by last weekend’s magnanimous response to the Cockyroaches.

But, not everyone is on the same script. After patriotically excising all traces of colonialism, are we now to turn Victorian? Make our girls too repeat, ‘Prunes, prisms and poetry to say,/A wilful young woman must learn to obey’?

Will popular ‘Tales for Rebel Girls’ be tamed by our textbook tartars? Will Rani Lakshmibai of Jhansi be cancelled? Ditto 12th-century, Kannada, gender-bender, vachana poet Akka Mahadevi? She defied patriarchy; she shed all worldly possessions, including clothing; refused arranged marriage, to a king no less, and considered Shiv her only true husband. Will even Meerabai be banned? She did more or less the same, no, wandering around yearning after ‘cowherd’ Krishn?

Then, what about ‘Queen’ Kangana? In her break-out film didn’t she bindaas jazz off on a solo honeymoon instead of the expected ‘Hai, hai, barbaad ho gayi!’ breast-beating after being ditched at the mandap? Does her ‘Gutter Generation’ not count as ‘a drain inspector’s report’ – to borrow Gandhiji’s caustic comment on Mother India, Katherine Mayo’s 1927 book – on our women’s status?

Is it okay for trolls to threaten rape?

Desi dudes’ daily ‘ma-behen’ spit-out is not even considered a gaali, but an exasperated girl’s outburst is an unlawful act?

Can Gen Z have its own four-letter words?

Jeez!, should proud Hindutvites be borrowing from the Bible? Like ‘Turn the other cheek on the cheeky’? Or ‘Father forgives them for they know not what to say’.

Will the next Bhaktwood hit-song be ‘Jumma, kshama de de’?

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Alec Smart said: “Kanwariyas will again block carwariyas.”