By Rajiv Vij

Pause for a moment. Close your eyes and gently observe your thoughts. Do you notice them arising one after another – some linked to the previous one, some disjointed? Are you choosing these thoughts, or are they appearing on their own beyond your control?

Consider your everyday thoughts about the past or future. Thoughts that generate excitement or fear. Thoughts coloured by love, envy, or self-judgement. Don’t they seem to arise by themselves? This is clearly noticeable on a sleepless night when an unending stream of thoughts shows up uninvited.

Now consider a situation where you ‘consciously’ decide to think about something, perhaps planning your weekend. How did even the thought, ‘Let me plan my weekend’ arise? Did you manufacture it? Or did it simply appear?

Thoughts arise from memory, habit, fear, desire – from everything we have ever experienced. They emerge automatically from the mind’s past conditioning, not from a controller consciously choosing and releasing them. Yet from birth, our language and social structures reinforce the sense of an independent thinker who owns and controls these thoughts.

But what power do you actually have over your thoughts? Can you choose your next thought? Did you choose the last one? Or do thoughts simply arise, only to fade away and give way to the next? The continuity and coherence of thoughts create the impression of a thinker. But is it possible that thoughts arise due to conditioning and then another thought subtly appears, claiming ‘i am the one thinking’?

It all begins with an experience. Pain is felt, hunger arises, a thought appears. But instead of noticing ‘pain’, ‘hunger’, or ‘thinking’, we learn to say, ‘i am in pain’, ‘i am hungry’, ‘i am thinking’. Language creates  a central reference point for experience – an ‘i’ to whom everything happens, a thinker behind the thinking.

Over time, memory links experiences together and strengthens the sense of a continuous controller. In the process, an identity forms. Life no longer simply unfolds; it happens to ‘me’, or is caused by ‘me’. An awkward moment becomes ‘i am embarrassed’, followed by, ‘Why am i like this?’

But let’s look closely. Is it possible that thinking happens on its own and the sense of a thinker is itself another thought? The narrative of ‘i’ is surely essential for navigating daily life and operating in a social construct. But when we over-identify with the thinker and take every thought personally, it often becomes a source of emotional struggle and unhappiness.

If thoughts arise on their own, perhaps they don’t need to be tightly managed. Perhaps they don’t need to define us. We don’t need to judge them or ourselves for them. As long as we are alive, just like breathing, thinking continues. But the rigid sense of a thinker can soften. Plans are made, conversations occur, and life goes on. But the underlying tension and the need for control can subside.

Recognising that thoughts arise on their own does not mean we have no responsibility. Actions still have consequences. Conditioning still shapes thinking and behaviour, but responsibility does not require a controlling thinker at the centre – only awareness of what is arising and sensitivity to its effects.

Maybe true inner growth is not about producing more positive thoughts and eliminating negative ones. Maybe it’s seeing that each thought arises on its own and need not be taken personally. When thoughts are observed without identification, old patterns can begin to shrink.

The writer is a Singapore-based life coach

END OF ARTICLE