The Scrabble Board was laid out on the table.  My sister, brother, and I arranged our tiles and began to play. After a few rounds, just as I was going to place the word “Queen” on the board, my grandmother, who was sitting beside us, called out :  “Mina, make sure you place the Q on the Triple Letter Score, so that your points get tripled…”    

The year was 1963.  I was 9 years old.  My sister Indira (Indu), 7. My brother Parameswaran (Param), 4.  My maternal grandmother, N.Devanayaki, was teaching us how to play!  This was the original Scrabble, with the wooden pieces, she had brought us from a visit to the States. Grandma (Pati to us), was a Science Graduate, an Educationist, and an Inspectress of Schools in the erstwhile State of Madras. For her nine grandchildren, it was as a grandmother that she excelled; and, as the eldest grandchild, it’s my honour, to pen this tribute.

A Grandma, way beyond her times

Pati initiated us into the tricks of the Scrabble game – the subtle variations that helped us make the most of our letters, and score off the most, in our ‘amateur’ leagues !

She would urge us not to throw away high-scoring tiles, but would patiently ensure we use them skillfully.  Make maximum use of these valuable letters.  For example, use the letter ‘Z’ on a triple letter score – get both ‘Zoo’ and ‘Zo’ – minimum sixty points – for one letter !  Pati also encouraged us to make the much sought-after seven-letter words, giving us enough open spaces on the board, to do so.

In one respect though, she was old-fashioned – she didn’t care for common four-letter words.  She preferred the rarified two-letter ones, that would fetch us more respect.  Xi, Zo, Em, En, Jo, Ai, Id,….

Friends would often challenge these tiny, ’unheard-of  in those days’  words; now commonly used by professional scrabble players. But we learnt them years back, thanks to our grandmother’s coaching !

Long before Pati taught us Scrabble, she introduced us to the enchanting world of books.  Reading to us, story after story:   Penguin’s Children’s Classics, Enid Blyton, the Panchatantra, the Ramayana; that kept us spellbound and wanting more. Reading then came easy to young minds, fascinated with the magic of books.  I remember reading Enid Blyton’s Jolly Story Book, at the ripe old age of 4 ! The rest, thanks to my grandmother, is history.  A legacy of devouring books, of all genres.  My life-long favourite though, which I read even today, is the “Anne of Green Gables” Series.  I can never forget my 12th birthday (1966), when I got up from bed, excitedly opened my presents, and found the first Anne book (in the original green hardbound), presented by my grandmother!  Unlocking wondrous joys for her grandchildren.

Pati was a conventional granny too – would give us oil baths, plait our hair, get us lovely pavadais (traditional long skirts), tell us stories; and yes, cook delicacies for us. Unmatched delights came from her kitchen.  Her walnut fudge was the last word in sweets. So was her guava jam; her vathakuzhambu (a tamarind-based spiced gravy) was thick and delicious.

Dreaming high

The eldest of twelve children, Devanayaki (Babyka to relations), was born in 1903, in Bangalore, into a very progressive-minded family. Her Father, Dr (Capt) R. Bhima Subramanyam Iyer (one of five brothers), served in the North Africa Campaign during the Second World War.  The Captain’s father, known as ‘Mysore’  Ramaswamy Iyer, was the first Advocate General of the State of Mysore.  Devanayaki’s mother Muthumma, was a woman of many talents, whose versatile cooking would astonish a cordon bleu. Apart from the rolling pin, Muthumma could also wield a tennis racquet. Dressed in the customary nine yards sari., she would enjoy an occasional game of tennis. 

The Captain and his wife encouraged liberal thinking, combining the best of Indian and Western worlds.  There was no question of ‘giving dowry’, or marrying one’s uncles. It was a catholic upbringing, with pride in being Indian, being inclusive, and an emphasis on education and gender justice. 

Brought up thus, young Devanayaki read extensively, learnt to swim, was the first woman to ride a bicycle, in Bangalore.  Dreaming big, Babyka vowed to study beyond school, complete her BSc, and only then marry.  She did just that.  Got a BSc. in Botany.  Became a Teacher. Got married. Had four children.  Taught at Presidency Training School (PTS), Madras. Established in 1783, PTS was in 1939, renamed as Presidency High School for Girls.  Devanayaki went on to become an Inspectress of Schools in the State of Madras.

Marriage – Home – and Profession

Devanayaki married  K. Narayanaswami Aiyer (Thatha to us), a Civil Lawyer.            

Thatha did not just appear in the Law Courts; he was an absolute winner on the Tennis Courts !  Known as ‘Tennis’ Narayanaswami Aiyer, Thatha was the undisputed South Indian Tennis Champion, in the 1920s. A marvel with the tennis racquet; known for his elegant, controlled and pinpoint-accurate shots; he lovingly bequeathed the tennis genes to all his four children : Marakatha, Kalyani, Ramakrishnan, Gopalkrishnan; to his grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Thatha also passed on a melodious heritage; he was a maestro playing the ‘mridangam’ (a barrel-shaped drum), and enjoyed both Carnatic and Western classical music. 

Meanwhile, Devanayaki, combining a career with parenting, did full justice to both. As mentioned earlier, she was a Teacher at the PTS School, Madras.  She went on to become its Headmistress. Then, yet another distinction, she was appointed Inspectress of Schools, for the entire State of Madras.  Exemplary achievements indeed.

Devanayaki had the gift of teaching, and the gift of the gab too !  Not for nothing was she a teacher par excellence. The stories are legendary:  she would bring life into her classroom, literally. Bring seeds, mud-pots, plants, water; show the students how a seed is planted, the osmosis and photosynthesis which take place; point out the different parts of a plant. And of course, take the students on field excursions. Her teaching was not restricted to her students, but extended to all and sundry. Family members talk of how she would patiently explain the intricacies of botany, and other subjects, till the matter became crystal clear. 

Needless to say, Devanayaki was an extremely popular and admired teacher.  Gregarious, lively, patient.  Colleagues would come to her house, learn from her, speak reverently of her.

At home too, Pati stood out.  She was a superb parent, there for her children at every step of the way; encouraging them in their manifold talents: be it sports, academics, music. She had a blackboard embedded in the wall, for the kids to scribble away. She taught them to swim, to ride a bicycle.  As they grew older and showed interest in sports, she set up a sand pit in the garden, for practicing long jumps; and a high jump pole too, for her four sporting mad children. When her son Ramakrishnan was an Eagle Scout, she raised the funds required to send him to Europe, for the Boy Scout Jamboree, an unforgettable trip for the young 14- year-old.

Devanayaki encouraged her daughters to the hilt. There was no talk of  “girls must stay at home, learn to cook, sing, get married…”  Boys and girls were treated alike. The two girls, Marakatha and Kalyani (Margi and Kay) thus throve in this environment.  Revelled in all kinds of activities. My mother Kalyani, was an outstanding hurdler; she was also one of the few girls playing cricket, and would go with her brothers to watch test matches at the Chepauk Stadium, Madras.  Be it track and field sports, cricket or tennis, the four children outdid themselves in school, college and thereafter.  

Distinctive women  

Devanayaki’s children did her proud. All four shone not only in sports, but in academics too; gold medallists all; more importantly, with golden values. Her sons, Ramakrishnan and Gopalkrishnan went to engineering colleges and became top-notch engineers. This was the norm, but for girls to study beyond school, in those days, as well as dive into sports, was something very special. 

The eldest, Marakatha, did Maths Hons, and an MSc in Statistics at Presidency College, Madras. Obtained a Ph.D in Statistics, from the Madras University, in 1960. Was appointed Head of the newly created Evening Course, Indian Statistical Institute (ISI), Madras Branch.  In 1969, Dr. Marakatha and her husband Professor V.S. Krishnan, migrated to the US, where they taught at the Temple University, Philadelphia. Dr. Krishnan went on to become a Professor Emeritus; Dr. Marakatha, a Professor of Mathematics; with several prestigious publications to her credit. 

While teaching in Madras, in the 1950s, Marakatha hired a piano, and learnt how to play.  Marakatha’s daughter Gayathri, studied music in the US, and is a concert pianist.  

Pathbreaking Kalyani:

Meanwhle, my mother Kalyani, (Devanayaki’s second child), did the unthinkable – she joined the Madras Veterinary College, thereby storming a hitherto male bastion; graduating in 1952, with top honours.   Dr. N. Kalyani has thus the unique distinction, along with classmate, Dr. Sakubai, of being the FIRST lady Veterinary Doctor in India !  Kalyani was the Panikkar Gold Medallist, and the Class Valedictorian, in that iconic batch. Inspired by this pioneering lady vet, there is a book “Secret Wild Vet Kalyani” written by Geeta Dharmarajan. 

On the occasion of International Women’s Day this year – 8 March 2026, Pashudhan Praharee,  in association with the Veterinary Association of India, have announced the “SheVet India Excellence Awards – 2026”;  instituting awards in memory of  Dr. N. Kalyani and Dr. Sakubai – the First Lady Veterinarians of India.  A proud moment for our family.   Dr. N. Kalyani, is indeed a trailblazer, in entering a veterinary college full of men;  paving the way for generations of women veterinarians.

My mother was also an ace Tennis Player; the champion at the Queen Mary’s College, Madras; when studying Intermediate Science, 1948; winning accolades for her College.

Devanayaki’s two daughters-in-law, were Queen Marians too.  Dr.Vimala, a Gynecologist, married Ramakrishnan;  Gita  married Gopalkrishnan, and is a freelance Editor.

Marrying into the Forces

In 1953, Dr. Kalyani married Pilot Officer P.V. Iyer, a dashing young Air Force Officer, from Calicut; and their wonderful Air Force Chapter began. My dad retired in 1987, with the rank of  Air Marshal.  Incidentally, dad graduated with a Maths Hons from Presidency College, Madras, before he joined the Air Force.  

Dad’s first posting was at Avadi Air Force Station, Madras, where I was born, in 1954. Devanayaki Pati would come every weekend to see me (her first grandchild), all the way from Madras to Avadi, a good 40 Km distance !  Sister Indu was born in Jodhpur (1956), and brother Param, in Srinagar, (1959).  We were privileged to grow up with amazing parents, grandparents; and in such a cosmopolitan, secular, integrated and disciplined environment, as the Indian Air Force.

My grandmother visited us at all the postings, except when dad was posted at the Indian Embassy in Moscow; as Assistant Air Attache (1967-1970).  Russian winters were forbidding; but we three children revelled in it, and took to skiing and ice-skating like Rudolphs in the snow ! While in Moscow, our parents got us a Russian Piano, and a Russian Teacher to come home and teach the three of us. That was one of the best gifts a child could get; a lifelong musical joy. Years later, when I was 40, I did the 8th Grade in piano, from the Trinity College of Music, London;  and sister Indu followed me, at age 60 !

The Conventional and the Unconventional

Interestingly, there is diversity in the journey of female emancipation. There is freedom of choice, which, in my opinion, is the key.  One doesn’t have to blindly follow the West, or a particular feminist mode, to be a female revolutionary !

For instance, my mother Kalyani, first played tennis in a ‘ Dhavani’, a traditional half sari that young girls wore, in Madras.  Later, she played all sports, in a sari.  The six yards could not prevent her from moving like a gazelle on the tennis courts; walking away with the booty, at the ‘Tin and Bottle’ local tournaments she took part in, throughout her married life.  She even went water-skiing in a sari – zooming away on the Dal Lake, in Srinagar, in perfect balance.  However, there was one area in which she preferred not to do the balancing act. Between a career and home, Dr. Kalyani chose to be a full-time wife and mother, devoting herself happily and whole-heartedly, to practising on ‘her family, and not other animals’ (apologies to Gerald Durrell !) Whether teaching maths, science, etc. to her kids and grandkids;  playing cricket, tennis, volleyball and other sports; enjoying her music (Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, a favourite);  preparing delectable and wholesome food for her family; and for the dinner parties my parents gave, in Moscow, when diplomats would foregather at our home.  Amma was selfless, gentle, strong, and talented. She was the Editor of the Air Force Magazine, “‘F’Air Force”, and wrote for the papers as well. Played Bridge. Solved diabolical Sudoku puzzles. Keenly interested in current affairs, she read the papers from front to back, devoured the news on Radio and TV. Animatedly opined on various topics – from the Kashmir issue, to cricket team selection. Watched matches on TV, jumping up for the Indian National Anthem; cheering India on excitedly. Dad loves cricket too, but my mother’s enthusiasm was infectious, and has passed on to three generations: my three year old granddaughter, Aadhya, excitedly signals a boundary and a six; and is handy with a bat and ball!  

To come back to tennis, and the dress code: 

My mother played at all the places where my father was posted.  In the Jodhpur heat, the Srinagar cold, the cool Ooty weather, when my dad was posted at the Defence Services Staff  College, Wellington, 1961. Dad played good tennis too, but he would happily sit out, when his talented wife was the first choice in the mixed doubles tournaments, for the more competitive gentleman players !

 In 1969, in Moscow, there was an Inter-Embassy Tennis Tournament. My mother partnered the Ambassador’s daughter, who was a beginner; but amma’s experience took them through four matches, to the finals, against the Australians. The Indian Pair lost to the Aussies, in a closely fought three setter. Kalyani, as always, played in a sari.  After the match, the Aussies congratulated my mother, saying: “You played really well.  We thought it would be a cake- walk for us, seeing you dressed in a sari!”

My mother’s sister, Margi, continued with her teaching career. In dress too, she was different. She would wear shorts for tennis and other sports, and for the ‘old-girls’ sport’s day;  but wore a sari when she taught at colleges in India, and in the US.  Rode a Java 5, a scooter cum mobike, in her college days.

My sister Indu (Indira), and I chose to wear shorts for tennis, when we were young, and in our twenties; to feel free and play freely.  This was in the early 70s, when eyebrows would still be raised at any change in conventions. On the tennis courts, however, eyebrows were certainly raised  – in admiration ! At my sister’s deadly forehand !

Marriage –Career  – Sports

Indira, a Russian Hons Graduate from JNU, 1977, is a Freelance Teacher, Interpreter and Translator in Russian.  A Winner of the Rolling Trophy for sports and athletics, in school (Welhams, Dehradun, 1972); Indu also played hockey for the State of Uttar Pradesh. A mother of three (Shankar, Akila, Janaki), she keeps up the family trend, of not giving upon on one’s talents, once you get married ! Continues with tennis and running, till today; now dressed in Track Pants and T-Shirt.  Three Senior ITF (International Tennis Federation) Titles, in her 50s; and today, at age 69, grandmother to 5 grandkids, she beats the men in local tennis tournaments; runs competitive 10ks in 62 minutes; a super  motivator to one and all.

As for myself, soon after my marriage, in 1981, I dabbled in advertising for a couple of years; but was content being a full-time mother, and a non-stop cricket follower. However, there are a couple of adventurous things I’ve done, that may deserve a mention:  At my half-century, in 2004, when my son was in High School, I decided to study law, and walked into the classroom at a Pune Law College, my heart beating fast !  The students all got up, thinking I was their lecturer ! I sat down beside them (though not frightening them away !) and successfully completed the 3 year LLB Course, with an M.A. LLB; and, incidentally, the first woman lawyer in the family!  Joined an International Law Firm, in Chennai, 2008-2019.  Immensely satisfying years, where I worked on Constitutional Law and Environmental Issues; appearing in the Supreme Court of India, as a Co-Petitioner on two PILs. (Public Interest Litigation).  I guess the lawyering genes were too strong to pass by;  paternal and maternal grandfathers, both lawyers; and of course, the First Advocate General of the Mysore State, Devanayaki’s  grandfather – “Mysore” Ramaswamy Iyer.

The other daring thing I’ve done, is connected to cricket. My husband Anand, son Ashwin, DIL Kamini, all love cricket, but their interest pales beside my passion for the game; specially for test cricket. Once, desperate for tickets for a test match at Chepauk, I stood in line patiently with other fans; the only lady (a middle-aged one at that), in a mile long queue of men !  Another time, when the famous 2003 Adelaide Test was going on, and Dravid was batting for his life, and for the team, the current went off (pre-inverter days); and I was off like a flash, frantically driving to the Command Hospital, Pune, to watch the match there. There was pin-drop silence as I entered the TV Room – it was the Men’s Recreation Room !  I didn’t bat an eyelid, but sat down, along with my son, to watch  Dravid  bat.  

Another Indu, empowering her life, is my brother’s wife, Dr. Indira Iyer. An alumnus of the Delhi School of Economics, and of the George Washington University, USA,  Indira is a distinguished Economist, with experience in varied fields; in the Indian Revenue Service in different assignments; in the Ministry of Finance, New Delhi, as Chief Director, TPRU (Tax Policy Research Unit); and later on, a Research Professor at George Washington.  Indira did her Ph.D in Public Finance, from George Washington University, expertly juggling home and career.    A sports and fitness enthusiast, she and my brother, Param, were tennis parents to their two children, Tara and Venkat; taking them to tournaments in India, the US, and other parts of the world. Both children played professional tennis; Tara represented India in the Federation Cup; (she still has that forehand !);  and Venkat played for India, in the Junior Davis Cup. 

Injuries had Tara and Venkat opting out of tennis, and going the academic way; Tara has a Doctorate in Economics, from Oxford University, and is currently an Economist at the IMF, Washington.  Venkat is a postgraduate in Environmental Science from Columbia University, US.

Traditional – and  different

My father’s family was conventional, yet open-minded in their thinking. Dad’s father, V. Parameswaran Iyer, was a noted Civil Lawyer, in Calicut. He encouraged his children to think, debate on issues. There was flexibility, in their approach to life. Maternal grandmother, Meenakshi , was full of fun and curiosity, knew swimming;  could climb trees to pick flowers for her pooja, and sang like an M.S. Subbulakshmi. Though brought up in a conservative way, she was never judgmental, not even batting an eyelid when she saw my mother’s aunt, (Devanayaki’s sister), Lt. Col Anasuya, smoke a cigarette.

My mother-in-law, Sarada Ramachandran (1923-2019), was a housewife, with an expertise in  finance.  She didn’t require an MBA to be a master in business affairs; was a whiz at the Share Market; in ‘cheques’ and balances’ ! Teaching her children and grandchildren the fine art of equity investment. As for her culinary skills, her sweets and savouries are mouth-watering memories.

My mother graced the home, the tennis courts, and was a lovely dancer too. Dad was her perfect partner. It was a treat to watch them gracefully take the floor together; swirling away with the prizes.  Small wonder, for their marriage was indeed a waltz.  Their ‘last waltz’ too, at an Air Force Day function in 2009, got the first prize.  Amma passed away a year later, soon after her 80th birthday, with her loving husband by her side, and a sudoku puzzle in her hand.

Man power

I have spoken of the women breaking barriers; but the men in the family deserve praise too, for their steadfast support, forward thinking, and the faith in and admiration for their womenfolk; for actively changing lives.

My father, for instance, is the last word when it comes to calm, liberated men. Self-assured, supportive, with a positive outlook, he encouraged the family in all pursuits. Accompanied young granddaughter Tara, to tennis tournaments across the Globe, often driving the rented car himself, in strange places.  Dad is no mean sportsperson himself. A chess and bridge maestro, a marathon runner (he started training at 47 years), he has run more than 1,20,000 kilometres, which includes an ultra marathon (240 km) from Agra to Delhi, 1985.  In 1981, at age 52, he won the gold medal in the 5000-metres running race, at the Singapore Asian Veteran’s Athletic Meet.

Today, at 96, Air Marshal P.V. Iyer, AVSM,VSM (retd.) continues his fitness training:  runs 8 km a day, does pull ups, lifts 7 Kg dumbbells; writes a book (‘Fit at Any Age”, published by Bloomsbury) and makes 10-letter words in Boggle !  A linguist, he knows 9 languages, including Russian, French, Sanskrit; and today, in the nineties, is keen to learn more. The Air Marshal, is a source of encouragement and inspiration to the family, and to all who know him.

My husband Anand, a versatile Media Person, encouraged me to go all out in the advertising field; but when I wanted to raise the bar and delve into the legal world, two decades after our marriage, he would laugh and say: “ I never wanted to marry a lawyer !”    He was very appreciative of my efforts, cutting clippings for me, on legal info, while I was studying law !

My sister’s husband Lt. Col V. Jayaraman, an Infantry Officer, quietly supports his wife’s passion for tennis and running, even accompanying her to Thailand, in 2009, for an ITF Asian Open, where she won two trophies.

My brother, Parameswaran Iyer, no surprises, is yet another sports aficionado. He played tennis for St. Stephen’s College and for Delhi University; competed in the Nationals. Joined the Indian Administrative Service in 1981.  Years later, as Secretary, Drinking Water and Sanitation to the Government of India (March 2016 – August 2020),  he led the successful implementation of Prime Minister Modi’s Flagship Project, the Swachh Bharat Mission. A massive welfare undertaking that sought to liberate women (the rural and vulnerable) from centuries-old struggles; fighting indignity and the attendant well-known risks of open defecation.

An extraordinary lady

I have spoken of my grandmother’s ground-breaking accomplishments. But, more than that, it was her character and personality that shone through, and sparkled through the generations.

She was a woman of indomitable spirit, faith and courage, undaunted by the travails of life.  A warm and outgoing personality, she lived life to the full.  Compassionate, loving and incredibly generous, she would give of her time (and her hard-earned salary) to one and all. She would go out of her way to help women from less privileged homes; women struggling against the then social barriers; widows, destitutes, young girls with ambition; and assist them to reach their potential, to regain their lives.

A devout Hindu, (non-ritualistic), she would set off alone, on pilgrimages to all parts of India. From Tirupathi in the South, to the ends of the North.  She undertook the arduous and perilous journey to Amarnath in 1959, when my father was posted at Srinagar. 

Devanayaki was also a Gandhian; eschewed foreign goods during the Satyagraha Movement; wore her nine yards sari and khaddar blouses, throughout her life. 

Pati had a strong sense of justice, and of humour too.  Once, on a visit to London, in the 1960s, she asked a constable for directions.  The man didn’t bother to reply. Granny, admonishing him, asked : “ Are you deaf, or just plain rude?!” Another such instance, was when a Westerner asked Grandma a question. Devanayaki accordingly replied. The man didn’t quite believe a ‘brown skin’, and checked with a ‘white man’.  Grandma sarcastically said : “Now you have it in Black and White !” Once, while visiting in Bombay, a British friend, Mrs. Blakesley, invited Devanayaki and her girls to come swim at the Golwalla Gymkhana Club; which in the pre-independence days, was open only to the Whites. The moment my grandma and her daughters got into the water, the Europeans left the pool !  Pati then said:  “we have the pool to ourselves !”

Pati passed away in 1983, a few months after her 80th Birthday, in Nagpur, where my parents were posted. At her cremation, the Air Force honoured her with a Services Gun Salute from the Firing Party.  A fitting farewell to a remarkable woman. 

A Sui Generis Family Legacy

Pioneering ladies in so many ways..

Education, Free thinking, Sports – ahead of their days

Dedicated to high values – selfless, patient, daring and brave

They built a grand and lasting foundation, with the love, intellect and the devotion they gave.

Addenda:

This piece is in heartfelt gratitude and love for Pati, N. Devanayaki, and for Amma, Dr.Kalyani Iyer.

For Appa – my father Air Marshal P.V. Iyer, AVSM, VSM (retd), who, today, at 96 years, continues to amaze, and enrich our lives.

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